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11. Emotions for Others

You have the power to modulate other people’s emotions. But are you using this power?

Most people do not choose their response’s to incidents, instead they yield over what they will feel to that which in front of them. People just “react.”

This “reacting” spills over into other people causing them to react as well. A chain-reaction if you will.

Is there someone with a bad personality at work? This person’s attitude will cascade throughout the organization, touching one person after another.

There is even an entire “genre” of videos online, dedicated to people “reacting” to something. In this situation, you gain your entertainment pleasures by reacting to them reacting.

We inherently know that we react to the environment around us. If you want to feel sad, you play sad music. If you want to feel happy you eat a “victory” ice cream.

However, the dark side to just reacting, is we are always victims to other people’s emotions. As a result, we cannot become influential leaders.

But you don’t have to react, you can choose your response.

Through training yourself to be calm and collected the world no longer can choose who you are. Instead, you choose who you are.

Once you have gained a separation from the emotions that others are emitting you have the ability to influence them. In fact, you may have already realized that by being calm and collected, it significantly improves other people’s ability to be calm and collected.

With this separation you now have the ability to truly listen.

You have the ability to understand that a person is frustrated, not at you, but just frustrated. And by providing a listening ear to a frustrated person, you have the chance of pulling them up and out of this frustration by your mere existence.

By buoying yourself from the reactions of others, you provide a life raft for others to grab onto.

Leaders can push forward when the emotions of others are shepherded

It’s a leaders job to bring the people to where they need to be. Throughout this process people will encounter all sorts of issues. Unless the leader has the ability to maintain their fortitude, the leader will not be able to provide the needed guidance and support for those being led.

You have this skill just as much as anyone else. Notice the people around you have predictable emotions based on what they see in front of them. When one person acts a certain way, the other person is “supposed” to have their reaction to it.

The same applies to you. Based on your disposition of calm and collected yet warm. People must “react” to you.

Take ownership of others’ emotions.