While those practicing influence ought to avoid arguments in general, if you want to “win” an argument, don’t try winning it with force. In fact, even if you win, you lose.
Think about the negative energy arguments bring
You see, when you have some level of connection with a person, the two of you share similar energies and it creates a reciprocity. This is why arguments are particularly troublesome for those who are actively trying to influence people to adopt an idea. If you have an energy of “fight” and “win”, it automatically creates an opposing “fight” and “win” energy in the another person. Unless the other person is consciously resisting this urge, really, they have no choice but to join you.
Most arguments the participants “argue” for their idea to be adopted. The other person attempts to resist the adoption of the argument by stating facts, feelings, and opinions that either support their argument or remove support for their “opponents”.
When explanations turn to using force chaos ensues
When force is applied trying to get someone to adopt an idea this is where influence completely breaks down. At this moment in time, the person whom ought to be influenced, knows without a doubt that their best interests are not at heart.
Their mind shuts down new information from the person, because its likely harmful, and has only two choices.
- Rise to the occasion to combat.
- To yield.
The person who uses force is hoping for #2, but their best bet for influencing is actually to lose with #1.
Why is it better to lose than to win?
If a person yields to force, they will embody every negative emotion which will expose itself in enumerable ways.
They’ll avoid your presence.
They’ll work against you.
They’ll ignore what you say.
How will you influence someone who you can’t find, won’t communicate with you, and conspires against you?
Don’t use force, especially to win something as silly as an argument.